Oh I Feel So Rotten

                                                 

I feel bad for 2009.  It's got so much to follow, and come on, it can't do it.  Whether it be politics, pornography, sports, or just about anything else, 2008 took the limits of humanity to the farthest extent.

Here's a list of monumental events that happened in 2008 (Listen in order of importance):

1) Gears of War 2

2) Gears of War: Aspho Fields

3) Grand Theft Auto IV

4) Firing of Mike Shanahan

5) Usain Bolt

6) Detroit Lions 0-16

**Yes this is in order of importance**

7) Giants upset Patriots

8) Philadelphia's first champion since Rocky

9) Numerous Brian Billick Coors Light commercials

10) Celtics Vs. Lakers rivalry renewed

11) George Bush has shoes hurled at him

12) Atlanta Falcons, and Hawks make playoffs; Braves don't

13) Yankees miss playoffs

14) Florida Gators, SEC Champions

15) Eric Devendorf punches girl student

16) Blackberry Storm

17) iPhone

18) Jim and Pam engaged

19) Worst season in Michigan football history

20) American Hero Joey Chestnut repeats

21) Toilet Bowl Champion!

22) Michael Phelps breaking records and then ruining it by a terrible hosting of SNL

23) Matt Ryan

24) South Florida turnarounds (Miami Dolphins, and Tampa Bay Rays)

25) Tim Tebow's press conference

26) Barack Obama

27) Samuel L. Jackson....R.I.P

28) Bernie Mac...R.I.P.

29) Heath Ledger....R.I.P.

30) Vince Young's career....R.I.P.

31) Party Like It's 1999 Achievement

32) Plaxico Burress incident

33) Lil Wayne has a blog on ESPN

34) PERFECT PUSHUP

35) Peyton Manning bounces back from two knee surgeries to capture league MVP

36) Tom Brady tears his ACL in first quarter of NFL season

37) JP Losman accepting role as "NFL's Least Valuable Player"

38) Martin Scorsese leading Devil Rays to World Series

39) Did I mention Michigan's awful football season?  Like worst in history.

40) Jason Elam being robbed for NFL's MVP for second straight season

41) The year of Salsa Con Queso

42) OJ Simpson getting what he deserves

43) Forgetting Sarah Marshall

44) Baby eTrade commercials

45) Jet Favre

46) Tiger Woods wins US Open despite severe knee injury

47) Tiger Woods' caddy calls out Phil Mickelson

48) Ed Hoculi; although it was for naught, I still appreciate the efforts

49) The XboX boom amongst our friends

50) The economy floundering

51) Warren Sapp topping 400 lbs

52) High School Musical 3

53) Lohmaier in Jeans?!

54) Marty Roberts.  "First Time, At Last"

55) Rick Reilly to ESPN

Clearly this a tough act to follow.

Good luck 2009, you'll fuckin' need it.