(This will make sense)

I Believe in a Thing Called Love!

Truth be told, that title holds absolutely zero significance.  I just really like that song.  It's sad that journalists are seldom allowed to pick their titles anymore (the job is left up to editors, who are far more practical but far less creative).  So while I have the opportunity, I guess I will abuse the privilege of titles that mean nothing.  And with that, at least a paragraph that means nothing to explain the nothingness of the title.  So now, I guess the title actually has some significance, not by substance, but by being different because it has spurred an entire paragraph of nonsense that you have now read.  Sucker!

Okay, I'm sorry, you're not a sucker.  I appreciate you reading and apologize for wasting your time =(.

The Arizona fucking Cardinals?  Come on, seriously?  That's as likely as a Ferrera family watching the Bernie Mac Show.  But seriously, they really did it.  Widely touted as one of the worst playoff teams in sports history.  Then they beat Atlanta, Carolina, and the Eagles.  Ming dude, that's very impressive.  But alas, for all of you who think they will have their asses stomped out in two weeks may I draw a comparison.  Last year, the Giants were not as good as the Patriots.  This year, the Cardinals are not as good as the Steelers.  Get it?  Not always the best team wins.  So maybe.....just maaaayyyybbbeeee the Cards can get it done.

My money is on Money!  BTW I have begun calling Mike Tomlin Money.  If anyone has a problem with this then you are RETARDED!  The man is without a doubt the coolest coach in sports since Gene Hackman (told you it would make sense).

Anyways I guess I'll make a Super Bowl Prediction.  Last time I did I guessed it almost perfectly.

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Colts-31
Bears-13
Ditka-3 month state of depression
Archie and Eli Manning-Super Envious of ultra-successful Peyton
Edgerrin James-(See Ditka)
Bill Polian-Finally gets a Super Bowl ring
Peyton Manning-MVP
Bob Sanders-The deserving MVP
Vinatieri-Most Super Bowl rings of all kickers
*Above statement doesn't neccessarily mean anything*
Prince-Worst halftime show ever
Commercials-Most of which will suck with 2-3 good ones

---------------------------------------------

Pretty good right?

So here goes.....

Steelers- 27

Cardinals-13

Ben Rothlisberger- MVP

Dennis Green- Lots of smiles

Rooney- "One for the backside pinky"

Most deserving MVP- Pittsburgh's defense as a whole

Uncle Joe "Irish"- Happiest person I know

Bruce Springstein- Great fuckin halftime show

Most likely to have great commercial- eTrade

Mike Tomlin- Slams Patron at the post game ceremony in front of millions

Dirt- Picked Super Bowl winner, but feels bittersweet because he wants the Cards

Kurt Warner- Retirement looms

Anquan Boldin- Out of Arizona

Cardinals- Slip back into mediocrity

That's the way the cookie crumbles...

Oh I Feel So Rotten

                                                 

I feel bad for 2009.  It's got so much to follow, and come on, it can't do it.  Whether it be politics, pornography, sports, or just about anything else, 2008 took the limits of humanity to the farthest extent.

Here's a list of monumental events that happened in 2008 (Listen in order of importance):

1) Gears of War 2

2) Gears of War: Aspho Fields

3) Grand Theft Auto IV

4) Firing of Mike Shanahan

5) Usain Bolt

6) Detroit Lions 0-16

**Yes this is in order of importance**

7) Giants upset Patriots

8) Philadelphia's first champion since Rocky

9) Numerous Brian Billick Coors Light commercials

10) Celtics Vs. Lakers rivalry renewed

11) George Bush has shoes hurled at him

12) Atlanta Falcons, and Hawks make playoffs; Braves don't

13) Yankees miss playoffs

14) Florida Gators, SEC Champions

15) Eric Devendorf punches girl student

16) Blackberry Storm

17) iPhone

18) Jim and Pam engaged

19) Worst season in Michigan football history

20) American Hero Joey Chestnut repeats

21) Toilet Bowl Champion!

22) Michael Phelps breaking records and then ruining it by a terrible hosting of SNL

23) Matt Ryan

24) South Florida turnarounds (Miami Dolphins, and Tampa Bay Rays)

25) Tim Tebow's press conference

26) Barack Obama

27) Samuel L. Jackson....R.I.P

28) Bernie Mac...R.I.P.

29) Heath Ledger....R.I.P.

30) Vince Young's career....R.I.P.

31) Party Like It's 1999 Achievement

32) Plaxico Burress incident

33) Lil Wayne has a blog on ESPN

34) PERFECT PUSHUP

35) Peyton Manning bounces back from two knee surgeries to capture league MVP

36) Tom Brady tears his ACL in first quarter of NFL season

37) JP Losman accepting role as "NFL's Least Valuable Player"

38) Martin Scorsese leading Devil Rays to World Series

39) Did I mention Michigan's awful football season?  Like worst in history.

40) Jason Elam being robbed for NFL's MVP for second straight season

41) The year of Salsa Con Queso

42) OJ Simpson getting what he deserves

43) Forgetting Sarah Marshall

44) Baby eTrade commercials

45) Jet Favre

46) Tiger Woods wins US Open despite severe knee injury

47) Tiger Woods' caddy calls out Phil Mickelson

48) Ed Hoculi; although it was for naught, I still appreciate the efforts

49) The XboX boom amongst our friends

50) The economy floundering

51) Warren Sapp topping 400 lbs

52) High School Musical 3

53) Lohmaier in Jeans?!

54) Marty Roberts.  "First Time, At Last"

55) Rick Reilly to ESPN

Clearly this a tough act to follow.

Good luck 2009, you'll fuckin' need it.