A Day in the Life of Paul Anzak PT III
This is a continuation of Eugene's blog. I am taking directly over from where he ended as we dabble into Paul's Saturday night out with the fellas.
3:00 p.m- Exhausted from 2 hours of eating and meandering around, Paul decides to hit the hay.
5:00 pm- Paul wakes up to his wife yelling at him and telling him to put clothes on. Paul tells her "SHUT YOU'RE FUCKIN' TRAP WENCH!!"
5:10 pm: Paul is clothed, but far from happy.
5:15 pm: Paul takes a bubble bath because he's hitting the bar with a few of his closest friends.
5:18 pm: Midway through his bath Paul gets out of the bath. Kills it. Resumes bathing.
5:29 pm- Paul sits on his lawn chair (conveniently placed in living room) and stares at wolf poster.
5:31 pm- Paul announces "I AM THE LONE WOLF!!" Wife should be confused but has grown used to this type of behavior.
5:49 pm- The Anzaks sit down to their shake 'n' bake dinner.
5:51 pm- Paul rips loud one. Wife gags. Paul laughs.
5:55 pm- Paul finishes his dinner so he reaches for his wife's plate who was still eating. Wife is stunned.
6:07 pm- Paul sneaks into neighbors apartment and steals leftover Chinese from the fridge.
6:27 pm- Paul is sporting his Canadian tuxedo but still manages to have a wolf on his shirt.
6:33 pm- Paul is howling at his picture of 8 Men Out like a wolf at the moon.
6:41 pm- As Paul is leaving he tells his wife to try not to "stink up the joint."
6:43 pm- Paul remembers that his '75 Chevy Celebrity is broken down. Angrily he kicks over a trash can.
6:44 pm- Sees a dollar bill next to kicked over trash can. Declares it's his lucky day.
6:58 pm- Paul farts loudly on the RTS bus and everybody notices it was him. Paul looks back and says "What's that smell."
7:09 pm- Paul exits the bus and walks towards "The Dugout," Paul's favorite bar.
7:12 pm- Taking a peak around the bar he quickly points out his few friends.
7:13 pm- Paul joins his friends - and fellow substitutes - Mr. Downs, Mr. Stolnick (commonly referred to as Lil' Flip because of his hair style), and Mr. Stache (the guy who subs for Taz's gym class with the mustache).
7:21 pm- Lil' Flip tells Anzak he should stop subbing and become an associate. Anzak tells him that he's going to rip his nuts out of his asshole and make him eat them.
7:38 pm- Stache tries to lay his mack down on a nearby lady. His pickup line....."Hey baby, what's the difference between an orange? A telephone poll, because snake's don't have armpits." Nearby female is stunned.
7:51 pm- Downs asks Anzak if he is going to 'Nam. Anzak kicks the senile old bastard in the shin and farts in his drink.
8:00 pm- Yankees/Tigers game comes on the TV at the bar.
8:06 pm- Stache fist pumps because a single to left by Damon. Paul gives Stache a wedgie and gives Downs a wet willy.
8:27 pm- Giambi homers to right. Paul throws a bowl of peanuts at Lil' Flip and farts loudly and downs Flip's drink.
8:38 pm- Stache goes back to same nearby female and says "Hey pretty thing, how tall is the Empire State Building, true of false?" As nearby female leaves for bathroom, Stache follows.
9:01 pm- Despite only being the bottom of the fourth, Yankees lead 8-0. Bartender goes to switch channel then Anzak says, "If that game goes off, I'm going to knock your lights out."
9:08 pm- Downs pisses his pants. Confused from wetness, he pulls out his umbrella.
9:14 pm- Flip his talking to a girl who is far too attractive for him. After the girl asks if he is a sub, he replies, "I'm not really a substitute. I am more of an associate. I sub for principals and high educational courses." Anzak yells from down the bar "YEAH LIKE THIRD GRADE ART YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE." Anzak laughs at his own joke.
9:27 pm- Paul heads to the bathroom. He finds every stall is occupied. With the churning in his rectum Paul decides to drop a deuce in the urinal.
9:37 pm- Downs enters the bathroom and starts to shit in the urinal next to Anzak.
9:51 pm- Stache is nearly arrested for harassment. Despite being his friend, Anzak pleads for his arrest. Anzak is an asshole.
10:11 pm- Bartender finally turns off the game as the score is 11-2.
10:15 pm- Noticing the game has been switched off, Paul leaps across the bar and delivers a strong right hook to the very undersized bartender.
10:38 pm- Police arrives at the bar and both Stache and Anzak are taken downtown.
11:12 pm- Flip and Downs bail out their friends. On the way out of the station Anzak says "Stache wanted to stay and take it in the ass." Laughs at his own joke again.
11:15 pm- While Flip is driving, Paul slaps him very hard on the back of the head that almost causes an accident.
11:16 pm- Stache tells Anzak that he's an asshole. Anzak is outraged. He jumps out of the moving vehicle and exclaims "FUCK YOU GUYS! I AM THE LONE WOLF!!!"
11:18 pm- Anzak howls at the moon
12:19 am- Anzak is brought home by the police. The officers explain to his wife that he was making obscene gestures, howling loudly, and defecating in streets and public areas.
12:41 am- Paul violently jerks off because "his wife is on the rag."
12:53 am- Paul crashes naked on the couch and tunes into his beloved "8 Men Out."
11:15 am- Paul wakes up to wife watching not 8 Men Out, and if it's not 8 Men Out then it doesn't matter.
11:29 am- Still naked Paul pisses on kitchen floor and tells wife to make him steak or he's gonna make it both smellier and darker.
11:39 am- Dog licks up Paul's urine and he doesn't stop their pet.
12:12 pm- Paul beats the bishop in the living room with his wife seven feet away. She just leaves the apartment. As she is closing the door Paul yells, "GOOD GET OUT! I AM THE LONE WOLF!! WOLVERINE AIN'T GOT SHIT ON ME!!" this last burst of exclamation forces some feces out and since he is naked it sits on his chair. Paul takes it all in stride.
12:59 pm- Paul puts on his Walkman and falls asleep to elevator music.
This is a continuation of Eugene's blog. I am taking directly over from where he ended as we dabble into Paul's Saturday night out with the fellas.
3:00 p.m- Exhausted from 2 hours of eating and meandering around, Paul decides to hit the hay.
5:00 pm- Paul wakes up to his wife yelling at him and telling him to put clothes on. Paul tells her "SHUT YOU'RE FUCKIN' TRAP WENCH!!"
5:10 pm: Paul is clothed, but far from happy.
5:15 pm: Paul takes a bubble bath because he's hitting the bar with a few of his closest friends.
5:18 pm: Midway through his bath Paul gets out of the bath. Kills it. Resumes bathing.
5:29 pm- Paul sits on his lawn chair (conveniently placed in living room) and stares at wolf poster.
5:31 pm- Paul announces "I AM THE LONE WOLF!!" Wife should be confused but has grown used to this type of behavior.
5:49 pm- The Anzaks sit down to their shake 'n' bake dinner.
5:51 pm- Paul rips loud one. Wife gags. Paul laughs.
5:55 pm- Paul finishes his dinner so he reaches for his wife's plate who was still eating. Wife is stunned.
6:07 pm- Paul sneaks into neighbors apartment and steals leftover Chinese from the fridge.
6:27 pm- Paul is sporting his Canadian tuxedo but still manages to have a wolf on his shirt.
6:33 pm- Paul is howling at his picture of 8 Men Out like a wolf at the moon.
6:41 pm- As Paul is leaving he tells his wife to try not to "stink up the joint."
6:43 pm- Paul remembers that his '75 Chevy Celebrity is broken down. Angrily he kicks over a trash can.
6:44 pm- Sees a dollar bill next to kicked over trash can. Declares it's his lucky day.
6:58 pm- Paul farts loudly on the RTS bus and everybody notices it was him. Paul looks back and says "What's that smell."
7:09 pm- Paul exits the bus and walks towards "The Dugout," Paul's favorite bar.
7:12 pm- Taking a peak around the bar he quickly points out his few friends.
7:13 pm- Paul joins his friends - and fellow substitutes - Mr. Downs, Mr. Stolnick (commonly referred to as Lil' Flip because of his hair style), and Mr. Stache (the guy who subs for Taz's gym class with the mustache).
7:21 pm- Lil' Flip tells Anzak he should stop subbing and become an associate. Anzak tells him that he's going to rip his nuts out of his asshole and make him eat them.
7:38 pm- Stache tries to lay his mack down on a nearby lady. His pickup line....."Hey baby, what's the difference between an orange? A telephone poll, because snake's don't have armpits." Nearby female is stunned.
7:51 pm- Downs asks Anzak if he is going to 'Nam. Anzak kicks the senile old bastard in the shin and farts in his drink.
8:00 pm- Yankees/Tigers game comes on the TV at the bar.
8:06 pm- Stache fist pumps because a single to left by Damon. Paul gives Stache a wedgie and gives Downs a wet willy.
8:27 pm- Giambi homers to right. Paul throws a bowl of peanuts at Lil' Flip and farts loudly and downs Flip's drink.
8:38 pm- Stache goes back to same nearby female and says "Hey pretty thing, how tall is the Empire State Building, true of false?" As nearby female leaves for bathroom, Stache follows.
9:01 pm- Despite only being the bottom of the fourth, Yankees lead 8-0. Bartender goes to switch channel then Anzak says, "If that game goes off, I'm going to knock your lights out."
9:08 pm- Downs pisses his pants. Confused from wetness, he pulls out his umbrella.
9:14 pm- Flip his talking to a girl who is far too attractive for him. After the girl asks if he is a sub, he replies, "I'm not really a substitute. I am more of an associate. I sub for principals and high educational courses." Anzak yells from down the bar "YEAH LIKE THIRD GRADE ART YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE." Anzak laughs at his own joke.
9:27 pm- Paul heads to the bathroom. He finds every stall is occupied. With the churning in his rectum Paul decides to drop a deuce in the urinal.
9:37 pm- Downs enters the bathroom and starts to shit in the urinal next to Anzak.
9:51 pm- Stache is nearly arrested for harassment. Despite being his friend, Anzak pleads for his arrest. Anzak is an asshole.
10:11 pm- Bartender finally turns off the game as the score is 11-2.
10:15 pm- Noticing the game has been switched off, Paul leaps across the bar and delivers a strong right hook to the very undersized bartender.
10:38 pm- Police arrives at the bar and both Stache and Anzak are taken downtown.
11:12 pm- Flip and Downs bail out their friends. On the way out of the station Anzak says "Stache wanted to stay and take it in the ass." Laughs at his own joke again.
11:15 pm- While Flip is driving, Paul slaps him very hard on the back of the head that almost causes an accident.
11:16 pm- Stache tells Anzak that he's an asshole. Anzak is outraged. He jumps out of the moving vehicle and exclaims "FUCK YOU GUYS! I AM THE LONE WOLF!!!"
11:18 pm- Anzak howls at the moon
12:19 am- Anzak is brought home by the police. The officers explain to his wife that he was making obscene gestures, howling loudly, and defecating in streets and public areas.
12:41 am- Paul violently jerks off because "his wife is on the rag."
12:53 am- Paul crashes naked on the couch and tunes into his beloved "8 Men Out."
11:15 am- Paul wakes up to wife watching not 8 Men Out, and if it's not 8 Men Out then it doesn't matter.
11:29 am- Still naked Paul pisses on kitchen floor and tells wife to make him steak or he's gonna make it both smellier and darker.
11:39 am- Dog licks up Paul's urine and he doesn't stop their pet.
12:12 pm- Paul beats the bishop in the living room with his wife seven feet away. She just leaves the apartment. As she is closing the door Paul yells, "GOOD GET OUT! I AM THE LONE WOLF!! WOLVERINE AIN'T GOT SHIT ON ME!!" this last burst of exclamation forces some feces out and since he is naked it sits on his chair. Paul takes it all in stride.
12:59 pm- Paul puts on his Walkman and falls asleep to elevator music.
1 comment:
11:18 pm- Anzak howls at the moon
priceless
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