Loco Lancer Lax Preview!
Many of my readers have been waiting patiently for a lax preview that rivals my disgustingly awesome NFL preview (where I got pretty much everything wrong). Given, aside from Mike Lohmaier, all my readers are on the Lancer Lacrosse team and are looking forward to to seeing their names appear in my blog as a dynamic player. Fortunately for them, I am going to attempt to write a thorough season preview. If anything, I want to make sure that if Mike Lohmaier wants to throw out a baseball preview (that nobody beside my good friend Tom Lohmaier would give a shit about) mine is easily superior. Enjoy this shit G
Despite the fact that the Eastridge varsity lacrosse team is yet to post a winning record, there is reason to be excited this year. This same team + Todd Horne, Alan Ingrassio, Adam Sisson, and two years worth of experience went 10-6 as a JV team two years ago. That innagural season for many of us was indeed a successful one as we became the best lacrosse team in Eastridge history. Given, that's like being the smartest kid with downsyndrome (or for those of you who don't like "Waiting" references, the richest kid on wellfare). On that JV team, we had a handfull of players who had never played before. Shane Driffill, Tom Sulli, Nathan Wirth, Olliver Eckert, Ryan Hanley, and myself were all appearing in lax uniforms for the first time. Studs like midfielder Kevin Mahler was in only his second season, along with defensemen Josh Valletta who was also entering his second season. Probably most significantly, our goalie Eugene (will be refferered to as Yooj from here on out) was playing goalie for the first time in his life.
All of this didn't mean jackshit as we walked through opponents left and right and also defeated the all-mighty HFL to the tune of 8-7. Above all else, we had confidence in ourselves, and our coach had confidence in us. That, beside talent and experience, is the thing that killed us last year. Because roughly 85% of the team last year were sophomores we all anticipated that we would suck ass. And naturally, it happened. But the wheels are in motion. We boast one of the best goalies in Monroe County, and the most underrated player in Monroe County in John Champion (if he played for Webster Schroeder he would be going D1). We have strong talent at every position. Most importantly we have coach Wahl back. Wahl was an All-American at Nazareth and an offensive genius. When he was our coach for JV we consistently scored more than 12 goals a game. Last year we failed to break 10 in the majority of the games. With Jobson coaching the defense, and Wahl's philosophy for offense we should have a well-rounded team that can score, and can stop other teams from scoring.
Now that I have buttered ya'll up with the good stuff, here comes the bad. We have absolutely no depth what-so-ever. We have four attackman total. One of them has had a history of knee problems, and our lefty weighs about 100 lbs.
Quick joke:
We were filling out our recruiting information at our lax meeting last week and everyone was talking about jacking up our weight and height to make us look better. Alex Austin jots down his weight at a proud 120 lbs.
Shane: Alex, you're supposed to jack some poundage on your weight.
Alex: I already added twenty pounds!
Anyway, clearly our offense is vulnerable to injury. Midfield wise, we have plenty of them, but how many can contribute? We know they can score goals. Kevin Mahler will probably lead the team in goals. Coach Jobson even said that Alan Ingrassio would be an offensive powerhouse this season. Todd Horne is a former attackman who has a knack for finding the back of the net. Shane Driffill has blazing speed and a wet jumper that will go through a goalie's chest. But again, look at how many I mentioned. If one of them go down, specifically Kevin, we could be down for the count. Our defense has pretty much the same situation. Tom Sulli, Josh Valletta, and John Champion are all good defenders, but if one of them get hurt, we have Eren Ersoy coming off the bench. He was good, but in the last two years he has played very limited lacrosse due to off the field problems. We have one goalie, and god knows were fucked without him. Also, we have Nathan Wirth as our only Long pole middy. If he were to get hurt, what would happen? Would Alan just borrow his stick?
Clearly we are at a lack of players. But this is only a problem if people get hurt. If we can avoid injuries all year, then we can be as tough as anybody. Especially because of our schedule, which looks like this....
Nick Mormino #26 (Midfield)
Nick is M.I.A for things like Sunday morning shooting practice, and Wedneday morning practices, and even most indoor games. He is the sole lefty midfielder in our line-up and also does face-offs from time to time. Very tall and very hairy.
Olliver Eckert #28 (Midfield)
One of the few new comers to this year's varsity squard. Eckert stayed down on JV last year to complete his skills. He is a very versatile player who can also play long pole when called upon. Big knock on Eckert of late is his commitment to the team. He has been known for missing indoor games to attend basketball games, even when Jobson is the security guard for those games. Smooth move boss.
Ryan Hanley #?? (Midfield?)
Hanley is a wild card. He has made 2-3 appearances in the indoor season, and even netted a goal or two. He is tall. Moving on...
Nathan Wirth #2 (Long Pole Middy)
Stinky/Stinx/Dirt is also in his third year of lax. And like many other third year stars, he has improved dramatically over the course of his lacrosse career. He has thrown out the prediction that he will put up 100 groundballs this season, which is almost twice as many as last season. Wirth battled a hamstring injury that kept him sidelined for a few games but still managed to score our team's only goal against Webster Thomas. Although his stick skills have gotten much better, there is always room for improvement. Along with leading the team in groundballs, I bet he leads the team in both penalties, and penalty minutes. First Lancer Lax player ever to foul out of a game.
John Champion #8 (Defense)
Undoubtedly the best player on the team. Can single handedly dominate a player for the entirity of a game. Physically he can handle anything anybody throws at him. I would know, I have to play against him every day in practice. Hes a 6'2 monster who can sprint down the field in .078 seconds. Huge calves, and a great stick. Probably the team's most influential senior, and next year without him will be a tough transition for all of us as he declined to play varsity his sophomore year because he liked us.
Tom Sulli #20 (Defense)
Although O'Sullivan is 100 percent Irish and a physical specimen, he, like me, saw limited playing time last season for some godawful reason. Luckily enough for all of us, Germaine graduated and Sulli will be starting and playing in all of our games this season. He has the best power cradle on the team. The strength in his arms comes from the hours on end he spends pouding dough at Guida's. He is yet to score in his career, and this year could be the year. Sometiems he cradles too powerfully and the ball shoots out of his stick like tobacky comin' from the Big Unit's mouth. I blame Guida's for that.
Josh Valletta #6 (Defense)
An enforcer on defense who throws down big hits every now and then. When he throws down the big hit he has a bad habit of staring over the guy and saying things like "Hey, hey man, you see that, you see that hit?" when he should get back on defense. Can't blame him though, I would probably do the same thing if I ever trucked a guy. Good checks, rarely gets penalized, and rarely gets beat. Area of concern is his stick skills. He doesn't clear or catch as well as Champ does and will need to this season because most teams will put the guy on #8, and Valletta will have the 2 on1. Like Sulli, he hasn't scored yet either. Maybe this is his year. When in Rome.
Mike Lasher #97 (Defense)
He's a lot better than people give him credit for.
Eugene Ferrara #1 (Goalie)
Only goalie in Eastridge history (that means you Mike Matteo) to post a shutout. Eugene was amongst Section V's leaders in saves last year, and is getting better every day he suits up. A mild-mannered young man who even played goalie recently despite not wearing a cup. Think about that for a minute and let that soak in. Pretty serious stuff. By far the most influential player on the team, and can singlehandedly win games for us (example: Monday vs Hilton when he had three saves in nine seconds to hold onto the 8-7 victory for us).
Now that you see all the talent we boast this season it's easy to understand that we are capable of a 10 or a 11 win season. Maybe even a home sectional game. God knows class B is absolutely pathetic. Maybe we can catch fire at the right home and take home the championship. God knows that Eastridge athletics has nothing else going for it. Am I right or what?
I'm sure we have a lot more of these to look forward to this season....
"Driff, where's your brother?"
"Have you guys seen the Lion King? (Long dramatic pause) IT'S AMAZING!!"
"Were playin' like, like, like POOP!
(Valletta chuckles)
That's right Valletta I said it, POOP!"
"Hey Sulli, I got Nikes for Christmas. Not shoes......These (does motion as a golf swing)"
"I don't like their program, I don't like their field, I don't like their coaches, I DON'T LIKE WES HARTLEY!"
"I'M BRINGIN' SEXY BACK, DRIFF!"
"I got a kid now Driff!"
"I don't even got a job Driff!"
"You should've seen me in high school. I sweated so much they called me SWAMPSON!"
"GOD DANGIT!!!"
"I'M A SCAT MAN!! SKI BI DI BI DI DO BAP DO BAP DO BA BO BAP!! I'M A SCAT MAN!!!
Many of my readers have been waiting patiently for a lax preview that rivals my disgustingly awesome NFL preview (where I got pretty much everything wrong). Given, aside from Mike Lohmaier, all my readers are on the Lancer Lacrosse team and are looking forward to to seeing their names appear in my blog as a dynamic player. Fortunately for them, I am going to attempt to write a thorough season preview. If anything, I want to make sure that if Mike Lohmaier wants to throw out a baseball preview (that nobody beside my good friend Tom Lohmaier would give a shit about) mine is easily superior. Enjoy this shit G
Despite the fact that the Eastridge varsity lacrosse team is yet to post a winning record, there is reason to be excited this year. This same team + Todd Horne, Alan Ingrassio, Adam Sisson, and two years worth of experience went 10-6 as a JV team two years ago. That innagural season for many of us was indeed a successful one as we became the best lacrosse team in Eastridge history. Given, that's like being the smartest kid with downsyndrome (or for those of you who don't like "Waiting" references, the richest kid on wellfare). On that JV team, we had a handfull of players who had never played before. Shane Driffill, Tom Sulli, Nathan Wirth, Olliver Eckert, Ryan Hanley, and myself were all appearing in lax uniforms for the first time. Studs like midfielder Kevin Mahler was in only his second season, along with defensemen Josh Valletta who was also entering his second season. Probably most significantly, our goalie Eugene (will be refferered to as Yooj from here on out) was playing goalie for the first time in his life.
All of this didn't mean jackshit as we walked through opponents left and right and also defeated the all-mighty HFL to the tune of 8-7. Above all else, we had confidence in ourselves, and our coach had confidence in us. That, beside talent and experience, is the thing that killed us last year. Because roughly 85% of the team last year were sophomores we all anticipated that we would suck ass. And naturally, it happened. But the wheels are in motion. We boast one of the best goalies in Monroe County, and the most underrated player in Monroe County in John Champion (if he played for Webster Schroeder he would be going D1). We have strong talent at every position. Most importantly we have coach Wahl back. Wahl was an All-American at Nazareth and an offensive genius. When he was our coach for JV we consistently scored more than 12 goals a game. Last year we failed to break 10 in the majority of the games. With Jobson coaching the defense, and Wahl's philosophy for offense we should have a well-rounded team that can score, and can stop other teams from scoring.
Now that I have buttered ya'll up with the good stuff, here comes the bad. We have absolutely no depth what-so-ever. We have four attackman total. One of them has had a history of knee problems, and our lefty weighs about 100 lbs.
Quick joke:
We were filling out our recruiting information at our lax meeting last week and everyone was talking about jacking up our weight and height to make us look better. Alex Austin jots down his weight at a proud 120 lbs.
Shane: Alex, you're supposed to jack some poundage on your weight.
Alex: I already added twenty pounds!
Anyway, clearly our offense is vulnerable to injury. Midfield wise, we have plenty of them, but how many can contribute? We know they can score goals. Kevin Mahler will probably lead the team in goals. Coach Jobson even said that Alan Ingrassio would be an offensive powerhouse this season. Todd Horne is a former attackman who has a knack for finding the back of the net. Shane Driffill has blazing speed and a wet jumper that will go through a goalie's chest. But again, look at how many I mentioned. If one of them go down, specifically Kevin, we could be down for the count. Our defense has pretty much the same situation. Tom Sulli, Josh Valletta, and John Champion are all good defenders, but if one of them get hurt, we have Eren Ersoy coming off the bench. He was good, but in the last two years he has played very limited lacrosse due to off the field problems. We have one goalie, and god knows were fucked without him. Also, we have Nathan Wirth as our only Long pole middy. If he were to get hurt, what would happen? Would Alan just borrow his stick?
Clearly we are at a lack of players. But this is only a problem if people get hurt. If we can avoid injuries all year, then we can be as tough as anybody. Especially because of our schedule, which looks like this....
Away Home
| Eastridge | Hilton | Sat | 03/24 | 7:00 |
| Sepncerport | Eastridge | Sat | 03/31 | 11:00 |
| Batavia | Eastridge | Mon | 04/02 | 5:00 |
| Eastridge | Arc/Oly | Thu | 04/05 | 5:00 |
| Eastridge | Ath/Ody | Tue | 04/17 | 5:00 |
| Aquinas | Eastridge | Thu | 04/19 | 5:00 |
| Livonia | Eastridge | Sat | 04/21 | 11:00 |
| Thomas | Eastridge | Tue | 04/24 | 7:00 |
| HFL | Eastridge | Thu | 04/26 | 7:00 |
| Eastridge | Brighton | Tue | 05/01 | 5:00 |
| Hilton | Eastridge | Thu | 05/03 | 7:00 |
| Eastridge | Pal-Mac | Sat | 05/05 | 11:00 |
| Churchville-Chili | Eastridge | Tue | 05/08 | 5:00 |
| Eastridge | Thomas | Sat | 05/12 | 11:00 |
| Eastridge | HFL | Tue | 05/15 | 5:00 |
| Brighton | Eastridge | Thu | 05/17 | 7:30 |
The above is from sportsfive.net. If you think it was I who spelled Spencerport as "Sepncerport" you're mistaken. It was actually the guys from sportsfive.net. I purposely left it like that because I found it mildly amusing.
But clearly you can see from the first seven games, we have a legitamate shot at being 7-0. Then we have games against divisional opponents like Thomas, HFL, and Brighton. HFL and Brighton are teams we split 1-1 on JV and we can defeat them. Also at the end of the year we have games agaisnt Pal Mac and Hilton which are both winnable games (FYI, "winnable" is a modest term used for saying easy). We could be looking at double digit wins this year, making us the most successful lacrosse team in Eastridge history, and even more importantly, we can be better than the baseball team so I'm even on my bet with Mike Lohmaier.
Here is a quick blurb about everybody on the team (or at least the players that I remember to mention). It's broken down by position in case you were wondering.
Alex Austin #7 (Attack)
Without a doubt has the best stick on the team. Our only lefty attackman is probably our best all-around attackman and is one of the most valuable players on the team. His presensce is sincerely missed and extremely obivious when he's not there. Great with both his right and his left hand. Great vision on the field. Will lead the team in assists. Cool kid to hang out with. Even more unfortunate than all the fragments I just threw at you is the fact that he's a little guy. Despite being little, he has never been hurt for a game.
Brandon Moynihan #27 (Attack)
Phenomenal shooter that can pick corners from anywhere on the field. Seems to always be at the right place at the right time. Will compete with Kevin Mahler for team leader in goals. Probably the best finisher on the team. Also very, very skilled at riding defensemen on clears and frequent knocks the ball loose from his opposite defensemen. He goes behind the back a lot, most of the time its pretty accurate, and sometimes catches teammats offguard.
John Laganello #25 (Attack)
Senior attackman who has been playing since the seventh grade. Despite playing for all of these years, his mother whom is commonly reffered to as Jode, is yet to see him score. With only four attackman on our roster John is sure to see a lot of playing time with the out of shape Matthew Driffill getting winded easily. John thinks he runs the joint because he scored against Hilton in indoor in Monday Februaru 12th. John, you don't run the joint!
Matt Driffill #22 (Attack)
Ridiculously handsome, smart, generous, charming, and sincere. Although stamina is an issue with him. ONLY BECAUSE WHEN HE'S ON THE FIELD HE GIVES NOTHING BUT ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PERCENT BABY!!!!! Or maybe because he inhales soda and garbage plates like its his civil duty.
Kevin Mahler #11 (Midfield)
Probably the Most Valuable player. Alongst with Yooj, he is definitely the one player we can not live without. He plays defense, holds down the fort on offense, is an intellectual off the field, can run for hours on end without being winded, and can also win a face-off or two. His faceoff ability isn't first rate, and that's why we brought up sophomore Adam Sisson. Mahler will only have to win faces when Sisson is unavailable, but most imporantly Mahler will probably be a captain and will have to lead us.
Shane Driffill #15 (Midfield)
Despite rupturing his weak ass spleen because of an off the field incident (snowboarting, which is Jobsons' nemisis), Driffill looks to come back with a vengeance. he can often be found running around the house with his stick in hand exclaiming things like "WET JUMPER!" and "If coach put me in during the fourth quarter, I'd take state." Regardless, Driffill, or Driff as Jobson would say, can score, scoop up groundballs, and clear it very well. Although for announcing the fact that he has blazing speed so often, you think he would be a little bit faster.
Alan Ingrassio #10 (Midfield)
Although Ingrassio is only entering his second year of lacrosse, he looks to contribute heavily throughout the season. Being one of the six seniors on the roster, he really wants to win this one (Cotton). Although last season Ingrassio was labeled as a "defensive midfielder" he looks to score some serious goals this year. Although he hasn't developed much of a left hand, I'm sure that won't bother him. For the doubters, look at RJ from last season.
Todd Horne #3 (Midfield)
In the off-season Todd Horne was forced to switch from the laid back madd scoring attack position to the running a whole lot more and occasionally playing defense midfield position. Todd has adapted fairly well considering he has never played midfield before this season. He is a tough defender, is fast with good stamina, is a good dodger, and is good at groundballs. Areas of concern are the simple things. Shooting, passing, and catching. It's more mental than anything. Once he breaks the emotional barriers this senior midfielder should be a standout.
Adam Sisson #5? (Midfield)
Sisson is the sole sophomore to this years Eastridge team which boasted a shit load of sophomores last year. Sisson's skills are with out a doubt his face off ability. The kid does a hell of a job. He's also very fast, and is good at ground balls. If anything, he just needs to adjust to the speed of the game and get used to who he's playing with and he'll be fine. Contrary to popular belief, Sisson will no be getting his haircut this season, or at least not by me. **Note: Although I will not be giving Sisson a trim, you can pencil him in for getting ductaped to benches 2-3 times**
Mark Keller #18 (Midfield)
Keller is a senior who is known around Monroe County for his dance step called the 1-2 step. After scoring you can hear Mr Matteo exclaim "GOAL BY MARK 'BIG GAME' KELLER!!!" Naturally, the only kid on the team who doesn't have my screen name (thus making it impossible to see this) is the one I'm not taking very seriously. I went snowboarding with Mark this last Tuesday. He took a spill on the box. I was worried about him for a moment. He was OK.But clearly you can see from the first seven games, we have a legitamate shot at being 7-0. Then we have games against divisional opponents like Thomas, HFL, and Brighton. HFL and Brighton are teams we split 1-1 on JV and we can defeat them. Also at the end of the year we have games agaisnt Pal Mac and Hilton which are both winnable games (FYI, "winnable" is a modest term used for saying easy). We could be looking at double digit wins this year, making us the most successful lacrosse team in Eastridge history, and even more importantly, we can be better than the baseball team so I'm even on my bet with Mike Lohmaier.
Here is a quick blurb about everybody on the team (or at least the players that I remember to mention). It's broken down by position in case you were wondering.
Alex Austin #7 (Attack)
Without a doubt has the best stick on the team. Our only lefty attackman is probably our best all-around attackman and is one of the most valuable players on the team. His presensce is sincerely missed and extremely obivious when he's not there. Great with both his right and his left hand. Great vision on the field. Will lead the team in assists. Cool kid to hang out with. Even more unfortunate than all the fragments I just threw at you is the fact that he's a little guy. Despite being little, he has never been hurt for a game.
Brandon Moynihan #27 (Attack)
Phenomenal shooter that can pick corners from anywhere on the field. Seems to always be at the right place at the right time. Will compete with Kevin Mahler for team leader in goals. Probably the best finisher on the team. Also very, very skilled at riding defensemen on clears and frequent knocks the ball loose from his opposite defensemen. He goes behind the back a lot, most of the time its pretty accurate, and sometimes catches teammats offguard.
John Laganello #25 (Attack)
Senior attackman who has been playing since the seventh grade. Despite playing for all of these years, his mother whom is commonly reffered to as Jode, is yet to see him score. With only four attackman on our roster John is sure to see a lot of playing time with the out of shape Matthew Driffill getting winded easily. John thinks he runs the joint because he scored against Hilton in indoor in Monday Februaru 12th. John, you don't run the joint!
Matt Driffill #22 (Attack)
Ridiculously handsome, smart, generous, charming, and sincere. Although stamina is an issue with him. ONLY BECAUSE WHEN HE'S ON THE FIELD HE GIVES NOTHING BUT ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PERCENT BABY!!!!! Or maybe because he inhales soda and garbage plates like its his civil duty.
Kevin Mahler #11 (Midfield)
Probably the Most Valuable player. Alongst with Yooj, he is definitely the one player we can not live without. He plays defense, holds down the fort on offense, is an intellectual off the field, can run for hours on end without being winded, and can also win a face-off or two. His faceoff ability isn't first rate, and that's why we brought up sophomore Adam Sisson. Mahler will only have to win faces when Sisson is unavailable, but most imporantly Mahler will probably be a captain and will have to lead us.
Shane Driffill #15 (Midfield)
Despite rupturing his weak ass spleen because of an off the field incident (snowboarting, which is Jobsons' nemisis), Driffill looks to come back with a vengeance. he can often be found running around the house with his stick in hand exclaiming things like "WET JUMPER!" and "If coach put me in during the fourth quarter, I'd take state." Regardless, Driffill, or Driff as Jobson would say, can score, scoop up groundballs, and clear it very well. Although for announcing the fact that he has blazing speed so often, you think he would be a little bit faster.
Alan Ingrassio #10 (Midfield)
Although Ingrassio is only entering his second year of lacrosse, he looks to contribute heavily throughout the season. Being one of the six seniors on the roster, he really wants to win this one (Cotton). Although last season Ingrassio was labeled as a "defensive midfielder" he looks to score some serious goals this year. Although he hasn't developed much of a left hand, I'm sure that won't bother him. For the doubters, look at RJ from last season.
Todd Horne #3 (Midfield)
In the off-season Todd Horne was forced to switch from the laid back madd scoring attack position to the running a whole lot more and occasionally playing defense midfield position. Todd has adapted fairly well considering he has never played midfield before this season. He is a tough defender, is fast with good stamina, is a good dodger, and is good at groundballs. Areas of concern are the simple things. Shooting, passing, and catching. It's more mental than anything. Once he breaks the emotional barriers this senior midfielder should be a standout.
Adam Sisson #5? (Midfield)
Sisson is the sole sophomore to this years Eastridge team which boasted a shit load of sophomores last year. Sisson's skills are with out a doubt his face off ability. The kid does a hell of a job. He's also very fast, and is good at ground balls. If anything, he just needs to adjust to the speed of the game and get used to who he's playing with and he'll be fine. Contrary to popular belief, Sisson will no be getting his haircut this season, or at least not by me. **Note: Although I will not be giving Sisson a trim, you can pencil him in for getting ductaped to benches 2-3 times**
Mark Keller #18 (Midfield)
Nick Mormino #26 (Midfield)
Nick is M.I.A for things like Sunday morning shooting practice, and Wedneday morning practices, and even most indoor games. He is the sole lefty midfielder in our line-up and also does face-offs from time to time. Very tall and very hairy.
Olliver Eckert #28 (Midfield)
One of the few new comers to this year's varsity squard. Eckert stayed down on JV last year to complete his skills. He is a very versatile player who can also play long pole when called upon. Big knock on Eckert of late is his commitment to the team. He has been known for missing indoor games to attend basketball games, even when Jobson is the security guard for those games. Smooth move boss.
Ryan Hanley #?? (Midfield?)
Hanley is a wild card. He has made 2-3 appearances in the indoor season, and even netted a goal or two. He is tall. Moving on...
Nathan Wirth #2 (Long Pole Middy)
Stinky/Stinx/Dirt is also in his third year of lax. And like many other third year stars, he has improved dramatically over the course of his lacrosse career. He has thrown out the prediction that he will put up 100 groundballs this season, which is almost twice as many as last season. Wirth battled a hamstring injury that kept him sidelined for a few games but still managed to score our team's only goal against Webster Thomas. Although his stick skills have gotten much better, there is always room for improvement. Along with leading the team in groundballs, I bet he leads the team in both penalties, and penalty minutes. First Lancer Lax player ever to foul out of a game.
John Champion #8 (Defense)
Undoubtedly the best player on the team. Can single handedly dominate a player for the entirity of a game. Physically he can handle anything anybody throws at him. I would know, I have to play against him every day in practice. Hes a 6'2 monster who can sprint down the field in .078 seconds. Huge calves, and a great stick. Probably the team's most influential senior, and next year without him will be a tough transition for all of us as he declined to play varsity his sophomore year because he liked us.
Tom Sulli #20 (Defense)
Although O'Sullivan is 100 percent Irish and a physical specimen, he, like me, saw limited playing time last season for some godawful reason. Luckily enough for all of us, Germaine graduated and Sulli will be starting and playing in all of our games this season. He has the best power cradle on the team. The strength in his arms comes from the hours on end he spends pouding dough at Guida's. He is yet to score in his career, and this year could be the year. Sometiems he cradles too powerfully and the ball shoots out of his stick like tobacky comin' from the Big Unit's mouth. I blame Guida's for that.
Josh Valletta #6 (Defense)
An enforcer on defense who throws down big hits every now and then. When he throws down the big hit he has a bad habit of staring over the guy and saying things like "Hey, hey man, you see that, you see that hit?" when he should get back on defense. Can't blame him though, I would probably do the same thing if I ever trucked a guy. Good checks, rarely gets penalized, and rarely gets beat. Area of concern is his stick skills. He doesn't clear or catch as well as Champ does and will need to this season because most teams will put the guy on #8, and Valletta will have the 2 on1. Like Sulli, he hasn't scored yet either. Maybe this is his year. When in Rome.
Mike Lasher #97 (Defense)
He's a lot better than people give him credit for.
Eugene Ferrara #1 (Goalie)
Only goalie in Eastridge history (that means you Mike Matteo) to post a shutout. Eugene was amongst Section V's leaders in saves last year, and is getting better every day he suits up. A mild-mannered young man who even played goalie recently despite not wearing a cup. Think about that for a minute and let that soak in. Pretty serious stuff. By far the most influential player on the team, and can singlehandedly win games for us (example: Monday vs Hilton when he had three saves in nine seconds to hold onto the 8-7 victory for us).
Now that you see all the talent we boast this season it's easy to understand that we are capable of a 10 or a 11 win season. Maybe even a home sectional game. God knows class B is absolutely pathetic. Maybe we can catch fire at the right home and take home the championship. God knows that Eastridge athletics has nothing else going for it. Am I right or what?
I'm sure we have a lot more of these to look forward to this season....
"Driff, where's your brother?"
"Have you guys seen the Lion King? (Long dramatic pause) IT'S AMAZING!!"
"Were playin' like, like, like POOP!
(Valletta chuckles)
That's right Valletta I said it, POOP!"
"Hey Sulli, I got Nikes for Christmas. Not shoes......These (does motion as a golf swing)"
"I don't like their program, I don't like their field, I don't like their coaches, I DON'T LIKE WES HARTLEY!"
"I'M BRINGIN' SEXY BACK, DRIFF!"
"I got a kid now Driff!"
"I don't even got a job Driff!"
"You should've seen me in high school. I sweated so much they called me SWAMPSON!"
"GOD DANGIT!!!"
"I'M A SCAT MAN!! SKI BI DI BI DI DO BAP DO BAP DO BA BO BAP!! I'M A SCAT MAN!!!
11 comments:
I'm not about to proofread all 2,943 words of this beast. So please just deal with typos and grammer mistakes friends.
I can't wait for the season to roll around. Great stuff!! Maybe we see the 1-2 step a couple times this year. That would certainly top mark chasing nathan down after a goal at livonia last year.
Sensational.
It seems everybody liked it but Shane
Few things
- I wish I could do a writeup of the baseball team, however I'm a coach and we have about 4 positions up for grabs so it wouldn't be appropriate. If I were able to do one, I doubt it'd be as good as this one.
- I see our worse case scenario this year as 12-7 and that's if nothing goes right. Also, that's without Rogers playing. Do you want to pay now or later?
-Once again, nice preview and goodluck this year.
Yeah, make up excuses as to why you can't write one when we all know the real reason. It wouldn't live up to recent blog season preview expectations. As far as the best goes, it's a long season. With an injury prone Steph and Nick Catalano batting clean up. This bet is far from over...
But since I'm a class act sometimes I supposed I'll wish you the best of luck on the upcoming season despite the fact that deep down we want the other to lose
Why isnt Alex Szpakowski on the list...He played a game. Didn't he?
I'm guessing alex posted that last comment cuz idt ne1 else could spell his last name
Anyone could've posted that because his last name is also his screen name.
Everyone knows how to spell Alex's last name. He's the man.
I couldn't spell it, but i failed english so maybe thats just me.
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