Top Fictional Athletes
These are the top fictional athletes of all time. This is of course all children, because I don't want Clubber Lang or Ivan Drago cracking another list of mine. So all of these kids are stars with potential exceeding the fictional roof. More so, this topic came up in a recent discussion with Shane about some of the individuals that made the list. His favorite is even on there. I'll let you guess after the post on the comment box to see how well you know Shane M. Driffill. Anyhow here they are...
1)Gunner Stahl
Most would disagree with this, like most of the things I write about, but seriously he's the man. I know he played for the dreaded Iceland hockey team in D2: Mighty Ducks Two. But after he swallowed (haha swallowed) defeat at the hands of the Julie "the Cat" Gaffney, he didn't go into a blind rage, but merely accepted it and pursued to "shake their hands." My man stood up to the Wolf Stanson and laid down the law. Gunner has no fear. He led the tournament in goals, which featured all of the best players, from all of the best countries in the world. Sidney Crosby, but better. On a different note, where was Canada during these Goodwill Games? How could team USA roll into the finals without playing teams like Sweden, Russia, and any other country in Eastern Europe. Bologna, thats how. Nonetheless, Gunner Stahl is underrated and a phenom that stood out in the best of the three Mighty Ducks movies.
2)Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez
What kind of top fictional athletic children list would not include the Jet. I have already written a post about the Jet so I will keept it brief. This man had wheels beyond those of Goodyear. He stole home, which was later in his life, but in his day he stole home plenty of times. He had a great bat and could play any position. He stands out above everyone else but Gunner. Benny, in his youth, never had the oppertunity to suceed on the international level that Gunner did. Sure Benjamin can dominate in the neighborhood game, and even with the Dodgers, but I want to see him in the World Baseball Classic or somesing. Nonetheless, the Sandlot is great and so is he, he gets number 2.
3)Spike Hammersmith
Many will not be so familiar with Spike Hammersmith because they haven't seen the Little Giants (Ed). For those of us who have seen it, we know Spike and what he is all about. He won the ten year old weight lifting division when he was five. People would argue this animal of a football player was abusing steroids at a young age, because physically he was not a pee-wee football player. In my opinion, the Cowboys should have won that game, it would've been more realistic, because they could give the ball to Spike every play, and at the very worst he would score every four touches. He is an animal, who doesn't play with girls.
4)Adam Banks
The most underrated Mighty Duck by far. Banks was a gamer. Rain or shine, broken wrist or not. My man could play hockey. He was the total package, brains, speed, shot, handling, he could do it all. Scouts were always hanging out watching him, but all he wanted to do was impress his dad. Hell, when he came of the DL he took the mighty Charlie's spot. My man got pulled up to varsity, the only Duck to do so. Of all the Ducks, he had the brightest future (Mendoza had some speed{Mendoza was Benny The Jet} and Tex could handle the puck, but they were only specialists, not the whole package). We don't know what happens after the third one, but we can be certain that Banks goes to the fictional NHL and eventually plays Gunner Stahl and a Magic-Bird, LeBron-Wade rivalry emerges, with Gunner always being a step ahead of him.
5)Pick your own!
I narrowed this down to a few choices, but none of them stood out to me. They are, Junior Floyd, the quarterback for the Little Giants. The Italians from Kicking and Screaming. Henry from Rookie of the Year. Or, the most recently, the huge, but young, little black kid from the newest Under Armour commercial. The kid who had an interception then took it to the house. That kid is huge, and at the tender age of nine would easily beat the shit out of me and all my friends, and everyone else who looked at him funny. Anyhow, comment on who you think number five should be, or if I forgot anybody critical comment about that because I probably missed one. No more Mighty Ducks though, we could all make a case for a lot of them.
These are the top fictional athletes of all time. This is of course all children, because I don't want Clubber Lang or Ivan Drago cracking another list of mine. So all of these kids are stars with potential exceeding the fictional roof. More so, this topic came up in a recent discussion with Shane about some of the individuals that made the list. His favorite is even on there. I'll let you guess after the post on the comment box to see how well you know Shane M. Driffill. Anyhow here they are...
1)Gunner Stahl
Most would disagree with this, like most of the things I write about, but seriously he's the man. I know he played for the dreaded Iceland hockey team in D2: Mighty Ducks Two. But after he swallowed (haha swallowed) defeat at the hands of the Julie "the Cat" Gaffney, he didn't go into a blind rage, but merely accepted it and pursued to "shake their hands." My man stood up to the Wolf Stanson and laid down the law. Gunner has no fear. He led the tournament in goals, which featured all of the best players, from all of the best countries in the world. Sidney Crosby, but better. On a different note, where was Canada during these Goodwill Games? How could team USA roll into the finals without playing teams like Sweden, Russia, and any other country in Eastern Europe. Bologna, thats how. Nonetheless, Gunner Stahl is underrated and a phenom that stood out in the best of the three Mighty Ducks movies.
2)Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez
What kind of top fictional athletic children list would not include the Jet. I have already written a post about the Jet so I will keept it brief. This man had wheels beyond those of Goodyear. He stole home, which was later in his life, but in his day he stole home plenty of times. He had a great bat and could play any position. He stands out above everyone else but Gunner. Benny, in his youth, never had the oppertunity to suceed on the international level that Gunner did. Sure Benjamin can dominate in the neighborhood game, and even with the Dodgers, but I want to see him in the World Baseball Classic or somesing. Nonetheless, the Sandlot is great and so is he, he gets number 2.
3)Spike Hammersmith
Many will not be so familiar with Spike Hammersmith because they haven't seen the Little Giants (Ed). For those of us who have seen it, we know Spike and what he is all about. He won the ten year old weight lifting division when he was five. People would argue this animal of a football player was abusing steroids at a young age, because physically he was not a pee-wee football player. In my opinion, the Cowboys should have won that game, it would've been more realistic, because they could give the ball to Spike every play, and at the very worst he would score every four touches. He is an animal, who doesn't play with girls.
4)Adam Banks
The most underrated Mighty Duck by far. Banks was a gamer. Rain or shine, broken wrist or not. My man could play hockey. He was the total package, brains, speed, shot, handling, he could do it all. Scouts were always hanging out watching him, but all he wanted to do was impress his dad. Hell, when he came of the DL he took the mighty Charlie's spot. My man got pulled up to varsity, the only Duck to do so. Of all the Ducks, he had the brightest future (Mendoza had some speed{Mendoza was Benny The Jet} and Tex could handle the puck, but they were only specialists, not the whole package). We don't know what happens after the third one, but we can be certain that Banks goes to the fictional NHL and eventually plays Gunner Stahl and a Magic-Bird, LeBron-Wade rivalry emerges, with Gunner always being a step ahead of him.
5)Pick your own!
I narrowed this down to a few choices, but none of them stood out to me. They are, Junior Floyd, the quarterback for the Little Giants. The Italians from Kicking and Screaming. Henry from Rookie of the Year. Or, the most recently, the huge, but young, little black kid from the newest Under Armour commercial. The kid who had an interception then took it to the house. That kid is huge, and at the tender age of nine would easily beat the shit out of me and all my friends, and everyone else who looked at him funny. Anyhow, comment on who you think number five should be, or if I forgot anybody critical comment about that because I probably missed one. No more Mighty Ducks though, we could all make a case for a lot of them.
9 comments:
In D2, US and Iceland head into the finals both with one loss on their record. Iceland was upset by Russia, and USA won against Russia by a late goal by Russ Tyler ("IT'S KNUCKLE-PUCK TIME!"). Russia probably won the Bronze medal for its win against "The Wolf" Stansen's squad.
My favorite athlete is very obvious.
Sweet grammar Tom.
And Stahl got stoned by a girl. Anyone that uses the triple deak should not be included in the top 5, he should've gone stick side.
Kelly Leak would've dominated anyone on this list and then burned them with his lit cigarette after.
I didn't like Bad News Bears as much as the Sandlot, D2, or Little Giants. That's all I got. He probably was one of the best but that movie wasn't as cool
Gunnar Stahl scored 7 goals in the win over USA alone. He was the tournament's leading scorer, and he could even check the shit out of Fulton and Portman or "The Bash Brothers". And seeing as he was the leading scorer in the tournament, that makes him the best player in the world
....Making him the most dangerous person on EARTH, with a hockey puck.
Only Gunnar Stahl could look into "The Wolf" Stansen's eyes and make him piss himself with a "You lost 'eet for yourselv'" in a poor, poor accent.
Kelly Leak: You think you're too cool for school, I got a news-flash for ya....You aren't.
And before you correct Tom's grammar, try to spell DEKE right bud.
WHO PUTS THE 'GLAD' IN GLADIATOR?!?!?!
Henry from ROTY was probably the best athlete here..he wasn't messing around playing in "Junior" World Championships and stupid chicenshit Sandlot games, he was striking out grown men, professional baseball players. Chitwood deserves some serious cred as well, unquestionably the most dominating athlete in a high school sports movie to date.
Dude....Little Kevin from American Pie does not deserve to make this list. It took all of his high school days to nail Tara Reid.... Tara wardrobe-malfunctioning Reid. Shes as easy as a 4th grade long division problem, he could of nailed her in freshman year if he had a pair.
And in Rookie of the Year, he had to break his arm to get some skillz. All of the other people on this list didn't need super human powers to dominate.
Tough crowd, tough crowd
Never have I ever been so pleased with Shane Driffill then I was after reading that comment. Well done sir
the italians had some sweet moves with a soccer ball but on the other hand the black kid was just straight jacked for his age and would beat the living shit out of those string bean italians
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